You hear it so much these days. You hear movies, TV shows, music videos, etc. blabbing on that you should do what you love. Just do what you love and the world will be a better place... well if everyone did what they loved would we have garbage men? Would there be people working in the sewage and sanitation departments? Would there be people cleaning up puke at amusement parks? I think we get blown a lot of hogwash from main stream media about our callings in our lives. In today's day and age, I think art is getting the life sucked out of it. People are starting to realize they can make money writing music, designing posters or making movies and they've begun to suck the art right out of it. Why is it that when a young guy or girl picks up a guitar that they begin to think that if they could just make that big break they could be the next Taylor Swift or Greenday? Why? Who told those kids they need to be that way? Why can't they pick up an instrument and just play for the sake of playing? Why do we need to make our lives about doing what we love to do? Is that what it's all about?

I'm fortunate to have a job involved in the area of what I love. I am a lucky one, but there are aspects of my job I don't like. There are things I don't want to do, but are necessary. When it comes down to it, I'm using the tools and talents I have but not entirely doing what I love. I love making movies, I love the ideas and writing processes. I love editing my work and seeing it come to life. I love acting. My only problem, my conundrum, is that I've allowed the tools and talents I have to get in the way of doing what I love. Does that make sense? I am very much involved in the AREA of things I love doing, but I'm not doing what I love. I've let the worry of paychecks and projects get in the way of doing what I love and I haven't been pushing myself towards actually doing what I love. I need to find the balance of working to pay the bills and just enjoying doing what I love. What I love needs to be done, just for the sake of being done. I need to leave my work at work and bring my passions home.

It's my conundrum. I don't totally understand it, but I know I need to work through it. Do what you have to do, and then get to doing what you love.

Cheers, Matthew A. Hawkins